Hello and Welcome!

Hello and welcome to my blogsite!

My name is Tara, and I have four fantastic children. Madeline, my oldest, is 12. Followed by my second daughter, Avery, who is nearly 10. The twins, Dean anad Harrison, are 7. (Hence the title of my blog, "Two and Twins". OHHHHHHH!) I married my college sweetheart, Larry, when I was 25. He is often witness to the trainwrecks I somehow attract. He knew what he was getting himself into, though, so don't feel sorry for him. On our blessed wedding day, I managed to spill red wine down the front of my gown before the ceremony. And did things improve once the "I dos" were exchanged? Hellll no. When we exited the canopy as "husband and wife", my cathedral length veil got stuck underneath the canopy flooring. So my feet headed down the stairs, but my veil, head, and neck stayed behind. Naturally, all our loved ones laughed right AT ME. But I digress...

I'm not the mom with the most magnets on her car for every activity, vacation, school, etc., her family belongs to, who volunteers for the most causes, whose kids are the cleanest and cutest, who has a scrapbook full of precious moments. Fuck those moms. There is no fun in perfection. And frankly, if YOU are the mom with the most magnets, etc., on YOUR car, let me say "are you that desperate for attention? REALLY?"

Anyway, I started becoming the girlfriend other friends wanted to confess to, to confide in. They knew I wouldn't judge their mishaps, humiliations, or mistakes. We would laugh together and both feel ok. So this is the site for the shit you just can't make up. The cringe-worthy, hilarious, disgusting, and humiliating things that happen to me. My children are most definitely a source of blog-stuff. But I manage to attract plenty of calamity all on my own. The world has become a very small place indeed. Why not gather around, share some stories, and laugh our asses off at my expense?

ENJOY! AND SHARE WITH YOUR FRIENDS!