Like Doggie Like Son

This short play is titled "Like Doggie Like Son"

Harrison: (sheepishly) "Mom, Mrs. Owens excused me from circle time today and sent me back to my seat."

Me: "Your teacher made you leave circle time? Why?"

Harrison: "Because I was scooting on the carpet."

Me: (confused) "Scooting"??"What d'ya mean? You were crawling around disturbing the other kids?"

Harrison: "NoooOOoooO." "Scooting!" and proceeds to demonstrate, by sitting on the floor hugging his knees to his chest. He then scoots his rear across the floor, exactly the way my (late) dog, Lucy, did.

Me: (a little testy) "Harrison! What you need to do if your butt itches is excuse yourself, go to the bathroom, WIPE PROPERLY, and wash your hands."

Dean: (matter-of-factly) "NoooOOOooo. Harrison, this is what you do when your butt itches" and proceeds to back his way to the corner of the living room. "You get to the corner of the room, and rub your butt on the corner like this!" And Dean proceeds to grind his ass up and down my living room wall.

Me: (exasperated and flailing my hands) "NOOOOOOOO! You EXCUSE yourself, go to the BATHROOM, WIPE properly, and WASH YOUR HANDS!!!!"

Both boys: look at me, blink.

The End